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06/10/2004: "Finding the Sweet Spot!"
Last night I finished the painting “Grounded”. It was one of those nights of painting where everything was just falling into place and I felt somewhat giddy when I was finished. I had to sit down on the way to bed, so that I could stare at it for a good long while. I know that sounds vain, but painting is exciting to me, and sometimes I feel amazed, like “gee, I can’t believe I did that!” Do other people feel that way too? Like you can’t drag yourself away from it when you’ve finished?
Those moments may be few and far between but last night I had one of them and it was oh so sweet. Times like that I realize that I am really and truly doing this to please myself first and foremost. I know that if someone came over to my house tonight and saw that painting and said that it wasn’t strong, or didn’t like it etc. it wouldn’t change my opinion on it at all. I love the way it turned out. I feel happy and deeply satisfied when I look at it. And really, not much has changed from the version in the works in progress gallery. I added some darker and lighter tones to the figure basically, and worked on the details of her face and hands. I did nothing to the background at all and yet a voice in my head went STOP, IT’S FINISHED! And I stood back and saw that it was. I don’t have that experience with every painting that I decide to stop working on.
My first thought was to photograph it and upload it to my blog, but then I remembered that my computer is dead and so, no photos for awhile. I opened up my computer last night and there was a loose connection between the power supply and one of the drivers. I reconnected it all excited that I’d solved the problem, but it still won’t power up. A friend is coming by this weekend to run a diagnostic on it and I’m still keeping my fingers crossed that it’s the power supply. I have to tell myself that maybe it’s a good thing that it’s not working while my family is in town. After all, they are coming to see me, and to hang out and hike and play games and not to be anti-social sitting on a computer for hours on end.
My house is still not ready for them yet and it stinks that I have such a good painting vibe going on because I’m going to try and finish “unfolding” tonight which means certain house cleaning chores will go another day not getting finished and my sister Kelly is already arrive tomorrow. My dad, and sisters Traci, Diane, and Jenny, won’t be arriving until Sat. morning so maybe Kelly will help me clean. I just don’t want to quit painting while I’m on a hot streak. I have 6 paintings that need work before they’re finished, which means only four that are finished (grounded, forget me nots, fiddlehead ferns, fireweed). Still haven’t had time to reshoot photos of my work in order to redesign my invitations and I’m starting to think maybe I’ll have to email virtual invitations, or print out invitational business cards instead of postcards. Grrrr.
Plus, the weather has been great and I’ve had to cancel on my sailing partner twice this week. Well, if that’s the worst of my problems I guess I’m pretty damn lucky.