06/30/2004: "Please come, Please, no really, I'm *begging* you!"
I've always felt like having an art opening is a lot like throwing a big party that nobody really wants to come to. I mean, as the artist you put a ton of work into creating the actual pieces... but it seems like that isn't enough. Then you have to pay to design, print and mail out announcements, have flyers made and then take them all over town to post on bulletin boards and in shop windows...you have to write a press release, artist statement, title cards, resume...set up for music, buy food, wine, flowers, whatever for the opening...hang the show---all that and still I sometimes I worry that no one will show up; I take it more as a social than an artistic failure. When I ask/beg for people to come, I feel as though *they* are doing *me* the favor.
I know it's just insecurity rearing its ugly head but I can't help it. I've never really been good at anything besides art and my entire identity is rolled up in it. I thought that this show, being so prepared and all, I'd feel differently. But now I've started getting all these phone calls and emails saying "gee, I'd really like to come but we're leaving town for the long 4th of July weekend"...or whatever. I'm always afraid that in the end it will be me in my pretty party dress, standing alone at the punch bowl.