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08/04/2004: "My brain, my brain, my brain is on fire (I don't need no water let the mother &%$@! burn)"

It's funny, people say that if you think you might be going crazy then you aren't...well, i don't believe in that line of logic. I can really tell when I'm slipping one way or the other and since I've started working out I feel myself getting more and more manic by the day. Today my thoughts were racing so badly I could barely make sense when I was talking because my mind was working faster than my mouth.

I don't want to go off my medication though, because the last time i did that it was a real disaster. So, I have to just remind myself to slow down, to breath, to eat food and at least try to get some sleep. Right now I have so much energy I feel like a live wire. I went sailing tonight with a friend and that is a very calming and centering thing for me to do. It was beautiful out tonight, there were harbor seals swimming right next to the boat as we were leaving the harbour...there were beautiful sea birds, lots of eagles, a couple other sail boats out on the water but not much traffic from fishing boats. It was perfect, light wind, blue skies. The only down side is that this time of year the salmon are spawing and dying and they can get a might stinky when you pull up next to one. One was floating right by my outboard when we got to the boat tonight. That smell makes me want to yak.

I've developed a plan for how to proceed with my next series (the low tide paintings)...I'm going to start a new painting every week. Just the outline of the general picture as well as the thick white paint for the textured background. As well as starting one each week, I should take one that already has the background texture dry, and do a little work on that as well. If i keep that up until December I should be able to finish 10-12 new paintings by then. These low tide paintings are more time consuming than I thought they'd be, but I think the end results will be cool. I'll post some photos when I get one semi-finished.

Also, I'm going to the print shop tomorrow to see proofs of the paintings I sold last month. Once I have the scans on file, I can have prints made one at a time if I like, as people buy them. I'm going to move the images from this past show out of the "works in progress" gallery into a permanent gallery and have links to ordering prints. Also, I'll start posting tide stuff in the "works in progress" gallery.

I'm starting to feel a lot more optomistic about my chances of pulling this off. Now if I could just get my brain to chill out for awhile.