Home » Archives » March 2005 » All by myself, don’t wanna be, all by myself…anymore

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03/31/2005: "All by myself, don’t wanna be, all by myself…anymore"

Rick left early and I had already asked for Thurs-Fri off from work thinking he’d still be here and I’d be getting ready for the show and now I have no show and no Rick and I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve been wandering around the house all day in my pajamas. I read “Faking It” about a woman who paints forgeries, took several naps and watched too much TV.

It’s ironic that for the past several years I’ve *always* been working under a deadline and would fantasize about all the things I’d do if I had the free time, and now that I have the time, I’m bored out of my mind. Maybe I'm the kind of artist that *needs* a deadline? or maybe I just need to put these paintings off to the side for awhile and try something new?

Anyway, I've been invited to a big party at the Juneau Yacht Club tomorrow to gear up for the new sailing season, I'm going to try and force myself to go but my heart just isn't in it. To be honest, I'm feeling really sad. It took me quite awhile to get used to not living with Rick and now it feels like having to start all over again. Sometimes I think it’s harder to have something and have it taken away, than to never have had it at all. I guess I’ll just have to be sad (and bored) for awhile and wait for it to pass.

Replies: 9 Comments

on Friday, April 1st, RR said

Missing people sucks. I feel for you. It would be good to go to the Yacht Club tomorrow but I understand it might be difficult to tell yourself that. In the meantime I demand you use the depressed feeling and start another painting about how you feel. Your deadline is 10th April when I'm back from holiday. Get a glass of wine down you and go to it girl.

on Friday, April 1st, Elise said

I hope you have a wonderful Holiday RR! Thanks for the suggestion, I like it! I will try to have something finished by the 10th (I'm pathetic aren't I?) deadlines are so helpful to me though.

And wine, yes! I hadn't even thought of that. I bought several new bottles for Rick's visit but we never ended up trying any. No time like the present. (well, maybe I'll have my coffee and breakfast first!)
:O

on Friday, April 1st, Elise said

Oh, and like someone suggested in the past when I was having a bit of artist block, I may try a different medium, like drawing or...wax or I don't know...but maybe not oils for a bit.

on Friday, April 1st, SUBIIIII said

hey you! missed ya! why did R., leave so soon? all is okay I hope? so when can we start planning you & R's 2006 europa trip? Stella wants a mural too!!! ;)

on Friday, April 1st, SUBIIIII said

hey you! missed ya! why did R., leave so soon? all is okay I hope? so when can we start planning you & R's 2006 europa trip? Stella wants a mural too!!! ;)

on Friday, April 1st, subido said

whoops, didn't mean to üpst 2x...how bout 3 :confused:

on Friday, April 1st, Elise said

Jenny gave him one of her guest passes with Alaska Airlines so he could get his tickets dirt cheap but the down side was having to fly standby and we forgot the cherry blossom festival was starting in DC, so all the flights into Regan and all the surrounding airports were really filling up so instead of leaving on Sat. he had to leave on Wednesday afternoon.

Coming to see you in Switzerland would be a lot of fun, maybe Andrew could come as well? Anyway, I'm sure he would love to help paint a mural for baby S.

on Friday, April 1st, subidoo said

ya know, Rick said that Switz would be the next place he wanted to visit!!! and I would love to see Andrew as well and know he expressed interest in coming! oh, that would be so cool! and by then I will be able to speak so much better in the local sprachen! :satisfied: tehehe.... DARE TO DREAM!!!!!!! SWITZ '06....that does have a ring to it!!!!!!!!!

on Friday, April 1st, Elise said

LOL! Yes, dare to dream! That was such a cool trip, I look through my photos often.

I just met a gorgeous guy from Switzerland tonight named "Chris" who is traveling all through Alaska for the summer. What a kawinkidink. Anyway, I doubt I'll have the money but I will try to come see you! Maybe flying standby with one of my sister's passes.