04/04/2005: "On Melting (down)"

Sometimes (and I know this isn’t unique to me) the ideas for new projects (paintings, stories etc.) are like a plague in the brain; ya can’t really focus but it’s exciting because it feels like your own bottomless well (and conservation is for suckers). You think, happily (and against all previous experience to the contrary) that this will last forever…you feel (delusions of grandeur anyone?) like a genius who will never suffer the same kind of drought that other, less fortunates…have to face.

Every microbe you see, ever word you hear, is literally dripping with untapped potential. The heart races, the busy little hands try to keep up, the sleep is minimal.

And like Icarus flying to close too the sun, the wings melt and before you know it, you’re not just back on the ground but in a hole you made from the force of your own fat ass. darkness. no ideas. sleepy brain, tired hands…wondering, how the fuck did I get down here? And more importantly, how do I get my wings back?

by the way, anytime I make an entry where I talk about some idea I've had I'm going to type the words "project idea" in the entry somewhere so later I can search my blog's archives and find them when (like now) I'm feeling tapped out.

Replies: 7 Comments

on Monday, April 4th, dave from Nebraska said

Wonderfully well written, Timely, engaging, insightful and funny.
Thanks Elise.

on Monday, April 4th, holly said

You're such a librarian ;)

on Monday, April 4th, Elise said

No, thank *you* Dave! Getting positive little nuggets here is one of the few things I have to look forward to lately.

And OMG Holly, you're so right! That hadn't even occured to me; it's all about access to info baby!

on Tuesday, April 5th, greg said

Elise - it's been a couple of months since I checked in last, but I have so enjoyed your engaging, insightful, real testimony to the artist's way, that I've read everything since Feb to catch up!

Who needs reality TV? Not that this is "entertainment," but it is heart-warming to read how a fellow artist "lives," and works, and how it connects to my own struggles.

So sorry to hear about your fav gallery closing, but if you do have a good location, by all means set one up yourself! It sounds like you have lots of friends and support to make it successful!

I had mentioned in the past a great artist critique (and witty banter) forum tucked away inside craigslist.org. It is much more civil and fellowshippy than the (torrid) main art forum. The most recent topic is a CO ceramic artist who relates to the benefits of his own home studio/gallery.

For you and any other artist to lurk and check out:
http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=3023

Just BE SURE that time spent there as well as your own blog doesnt detract from ART!! ;)

Best wishes - greg

on Tuesday, April 5th, Elise said

Thanks for that Greg, it's nice to hear particularly since I think that most of my posts are not very interesting to anyone but me.

The fun part is the interaction it brings with other creative types like you (et. al.)

It's like having many extra sets of brains and imaginations at work to help me when my own faculties fail me.

As for Craigslist, I looked it up awhile back per your request but there were a ton of them out there and I couldn't find the one you were referring to so I gave up.

Thanks for the direct link though, it sounds very timely for what I'm considering now.

I've spoken to a couple friends about the home studio party/opening and they *love* the idea. For as antisocial as I can be, I can throw a pretty mean party!

I wish you all lived closer so you could come and I could pay back (through ample food and liquor) all your support.

I'm actually going to start a special batch of "bluegrass" homebrew (no actual blue grass will be harmed in its making) for the party.

I have to look into the track lighting too...but plan for this to go down sometime this month.

on Wednesday, April 6th, elderberrystudio2000@yahoo.com">Jackie said

Hmmm...'bluegrass homebrew' - what, pray tell, is that? Blue beer? Blue bathtub gin? Or maybe Alaskan-style bush homebrew using canned blueberry pie filling?? (gag). Wish I could come to your open studio!

on Wednesday, April 6th, Elise said

LOL, actually I just meant a special batch to be enjoyed with my bluegrass opening. Maybe have some bluegrassish images on the lables. I'm thinking of making a light summer amber, similar to Alaskan Amber.

hmmm, beeeeer!