04/20/2005: "The Art of Second Guessing"
Guess what? I haven't been able to paint squat since I read that damn book. Does the tree look better half out of frame or just off center? Does it need to be bigger or smaller? Darker or lighter? Bluer or greener? and what's the actual focal point? Is bending her elbow going to lead the viewers eyes off the canvas? My head is flooded with all these new rules.
And my sorry ass inner voice (you know the voice right?) the one who tells you where to put things, and what color they should be and when a painting is finished or when to just give up...well, my "IV" is giving me the silent treatment. Maybe reading the book was tantamount to infidelity? Like I wasn't happy with what I was gettin at home for free and had to go pay for it elsewhere? Now I only have myself to blame for my current impotence (ok, I'll just stop this analogy right here...)
All I'm saying is that even though I did some crap paintings before I at least did them with a flourish and I felt confident about them most of the time. Now I can't seem to make the smallest decisions without second guessing myself. When I change something and some people like it more and others like it less, what happens when I don't hold the tie breaking vote anymore?
So, what's the proper "make up" gift for a spurned inner voice? Chocolates? A hard bound first edition of Anna Karenina? (I've been out of the scene for awhile)