Alaskan Artist - Elise Tomlinson
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08/15/2005: "Here We Are Now, Entertain Us!"

I got a homemade postcard from my friend Sean tonight that made me feel great but also said his friend had read my blog (hi Ted if you’re still there!) and I've gotten emails from other friends and strangers saying “you’re funny” or “interesting” or (I shit you not) “inspirational”!

The more people say this, the more pressure I feel to not let them down, to inspire, to maintain the illusion of being funny and interesting (those of you who have read this for more than a week know better!)

Most days nothing more interesting happens to me than trying to achieve the bare minimum of socially acceptable personal hygiene for the workplace followed by a night of lying on the couch watching bad TV shows until it’s time to go to bed where I fall asleep listening to hypnosis CDs!”.

Trying to be witty and entertaining on a daily basis is impossible. I need to remind myself that when I started this it was just a place to jot down ideas for projects… now I find myself thinking after every little insignificant thing that happens to me “WAIT A MINUTE! Was *that* interesting? Should I mention this in my blog?” Or find myself actually doing things so I have something to write about rather then “didn’t leave the house or answer the phone for 3 days”… It’s becoming ridiculous.

I know it must be a common phenomenon among daily bloggers, am I right?

Replies: 9 Comments

on Monday, August 15th, Joan said

That is too funny. Doing something in order to reference it in you blog! I have to admit, I've had the same feelings in regards to my babe's calendar book. I record a bit of each day so he will have a record of it in years to come. Funny thing though, I think will he be able to read my writing? is the ink/paper withstanding the years? I sure understand the book is smaller in nature, but just as important to us.

As you reference others' opinions of you to inspire, and entertain, I wonder what I what think of "you" if I didn't know you. Hmmm have never considered that.

And yes, t-shirts orders go in tomorrow or the next day and one will have your name on it! Thanks for all your work. I really appreciate it.

on Monday, August 15th, Elise said

More sad than funny!

As for your babe's calendar book, I'm sure he'll treasure it someday. I won't have anyone to pass on my electronic tome to.

on Tuesday, August 16th,">Kasia said

Well, I understand this problem really well. i dont have a blog, but i keep my diary, in which i try to write important things about my "so called" life. the question is: who am i writing for? i often wonder what would happen if i suddenly died and somebody found it? How would this person view me? Interesting, boring? I have no idea how true it is, how much of really "me" is there inside of ot. it is a common problem, i guess. You think you know somebody, but it's a trick. so is it a mistification? (have you read an autobiography of Leni Riefenstahl? THAT was A BIG, BIG LIE! Of course it's easier to manipulate while writing an autobiography than a diary)The more I think about it, the more crazy the situation seems to be. i cannot answer the question about the truth, even about myself. But who can?
So, don'y worry Elise. If people usurp the right to know you and judge you only because of the fact they read your blog, they are stupid. They really are.

on Tuesday, August 16th, Elise said

I guess you're right about keeping a diary or a paper journal. I used to keep one and even though it was "for my eyes only" there was always a little voice in the back of my head that kept certain things out; worried about what others would think if they read it.

But I'm not worried that people might think they know me (people who *do* know me stop in from time to time as well)'s more that *I* want everyone to think highly of me and my life and artwork. Most people I know including myself want/need to feel that they're special (and maybe secretly fear that they aren't.) And in your blog, it's easy to present the picture of yourself how you want others to see you.

(I know, some of you must be thinking that if this blog represents the finessed version of my life then I must be *really* lame in real life.)

on Tuesday, August 16th, Elise said

BTW, these are the kinds of things I worry about only when I have huge deadlines (work related) hanging over my head...I'm a huge procrastinator and very trival things take on a lot of importance when there are actually big obstacles ahead (like the chance of not retaining my job if I don't finish what I'm working on!)

on Wednesday, August 17th, greg said

As I come to understand "blog" world, the thing that resonates with me - and I think Elise's blog provides - is openess and honesty about what is going on on ones life, and observations about the larger world. Also this provides a sounding board for others invited to share their responses. you, in fact, CREATE a unique community! How cool! Something private diaries dont allow.

Elise, just keep on with the open and honest side (as much as you care to), and provoke us with your witty side, only when that entertainment bug bites! ... and feel free to take a day or week off, fergoshsakes! :D

on Sunday, August 21st, ann said

I read another blogger's advice early on in my blogging adventures... she said to write whatever makes you happy. I've tried to maintain that. But... yes... sometimes I actively have to look for blog material!

on Monday, August 22nd, Elise said

I like the idea (in theory) about writing about what makes me happy, but I think sometimes I'm more compelled to write when I'm unhappy. I guess we need to just say whatever and not worry about who is listening or how we might disappoint them etc.

on Sunday, September 11th, Petra said

When I just started blogging about a month ago I wanted to write stuff almost every day and did. Then it was like I was all tapped out. Now I'm only adding entries 2-3 times a week. The days I don't, as the day goes by, I think to myself - was that blog worthy? But then I'm too tired or just not in the mood to do so I'm just waiting till I really have something to say even if a week has to go by before I do. You are not alone. :)