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10/01/2005: "Is it ever too late to turn things around?"

My moods tend to move in cycles, up or down. Below I've illustrated where I see myself right now:



Things have been on a general downward slide for awhile due to a host of things: changes in the weather, lack of artistic direction, stressful over-extension at my "day" job, poor diet, lack of exercise, and "other factors" which must remain cloaked in mystery. Some days I walk around with this feeling in the pit of my stomach like stage fright that won't go away; I feel myself circling the drain but lack the energy to swim. I sometimes watch myself with detached semi-amusement, wondering how low I'll actually sink before the somewhat random decent reverses itself.

Could it be today? The sun is out and it has stopped raining for the first time in weeks. I feel... what? a ray of hope? a vitamin D induced hallucination? All I know is when there's an opening I better take it. I have to work this afternoon but after work I want to start painting again. I found some new brushes that I *really* love. They're called Connoisseur Pure Synthetic Bristle Brushes. They are a cross between standard hog bristle (which I think are often too stiff) and standard synthetic nylon brushes like Wonder Whites which can be almost too soft. As Goldilocks would say, these synthetic bristle brushes are juuuuuuust right.

I'm going to work some more on commissions, but I want to start a new painting too. The wetlands looked very autumnal on the drive into work. I was thinking of doing a painting with a limited pallet: cadmium red, burnt umber, raw sienna, raw umber, yellow ochre, and cadmium yellow deep. Then maybe, just put in a few teeny tiny prussian blue highlights. In my head it looks very cool. This is what the world looks like when the sun is shining!