10/18/2005: "To sleep per chance to dream"
Ever since I was a kid, if I got too stressed out about something my first line of defense was sleep. I could sleep forever if I was really upset about something. But there always came a point where I just physically couldn't sleep anymore. Then this wierd kind of surreal numbness would take over, where I didn't feel like doing anything...listening to music or going for a walk or watching TV...nothing appealed to me but I was wide awake so I'd lay in bed and worry about all the things I was trying to avoid with the sensation of being inside a bubble or something.
I've been feeling that way again this fall. I thought having a party would lift me out of it but really it didn't. The party itself was fun but I spent a lot of money and now my house is really trashed again and all the things I wanted to avoid are still there worse than ever because I didn't get caught up on some of the work I thought I would over the weekend. I think I'm going to force myself to go back to the gym this week, I know that exercise would make me feel better (and I'm looking into those full-spectrum lights) so hopefully this won't last much longer.