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02/08/2006: "Dance hermit dance!"
I've been pretty social (for me) since getting back from Christmas break. That was the plan/goal...I've been going out for coffee, dinner, to parties, to movies and meeting new interesting people (while getting to know people I already like...even better)....and it has been wonderful...I have felt happy and connected with more dances on my dance card than my little feet can handle but...
It seems every time I go to something and have a really great time, once I'm home and alone again I feel bad...*really* bad. I feel like I did and said everything wrong, that no one really likes me, that I try too hard or that I must have been really annoying. I feel this way almost all of the time, except when I'm alone. When I'm alone I really like myself. So, I guess it's a trade off...enjoy the time spent with others and be prepared to suffer the psychological hang-over it produces...or...keep to myself and stay in my own little world/studio where I control everything and I'm always the coolest girl in the room.