03/28/2006: "No such thing as “failure”?"
Stephanie commented in my last entry that maybe today *is* the right time (to start thinking positively). Maybe the worse things get the more we need to be constructive in our thinking about world issues, the same as with our own inner struggles.
For example, I started thinking about my “failure” this weekend. I had such high hopes…I was going to loosen up, experiment, paint without so much thinking and planning, just respond to the moment. I prepared 10 panels, piled up all my paints, various mediums, cleaned brushes, put down a drop cloth…
I went and saw a show at Rob’s gallery and he gave me some advice about acrylics and when I left I had so many ideas in my head of all the cool things I was going to try. Adding modeling paste to the surface, drawing over the paint, maybe adding collage elements, the sky was the limit.
I came home, and sat for a long time in front of the blank panel. Then, I opened PhotoShop and spent the rest of the day working on thumbnails. In the end I came up with 6 new compositions, all planned out and ready to paint, and started painting 3 of them. But what I took away was that I had failed in all the goals I had for the weekend. I didn’t do 10 paintings, I didn’t “paint without a net” I didn’t experiment or get crazy. I worked “exactly” the same as I always do... I felt so let-down.
But maybe I just wasn’t looking at it the right way. I mean, I did spend the entire weekend making art, I thought about ideas, I played with color and composition and came away with new potential themes. That isn’t the definition of “failure”. Maybe I didn’t accomplish what I thought I would, but sometimes we accomplish more in our failures than in our successes.
Oh, and I'm not sure why google has quit indexing my FAQ About Living in Alaska.