04/08/2006: "On being visited by a talentless muse..."

I find myself in a strange place.

1. I am happy, full of energy, and feel hopelessly optimistic about the future
2. I find that I have limitless volumes of ideas and wonderful images in my head
3. I am not in a "slump"
4. I seem to have forgotten how to paint

I'm used to going through "down" times. When I sort of slow down to entropic levels in mind, body and spirit. I use these times to work on things that don't require a lot of creative energy. Book keeping, ordering supplies, washing my brushes, etc. All the things I let slide when I'm in the grips of a creative frenzy.

What I'm not used to is being up and having the desire to create along with images available at nearly intolerable levels, and yet being completely impotent to execute anything with any degree of skill.

I wanted to spend this weekend working on paintings that I've already started, try to finish some up, but I seem to be only making them worse. I thought to myself last night (after ruining painting #2) that perhaps it was the universe telling me to work on some of my new ideas. So, I started a few new canvases and they blow just as badly. I want to paint. I am enjoying it on a tactile level. But emotionally I can't help feeling a bit confused.

I should mention that I was painting with oils last night. My tried and true friends. The ones I thought I knew so well, the ones I thought kept no more secrets or surprises from me. the rat bastards!
;)

Replies: 12 Comments

on Saturday, April 8th, marja-leena said

Oh dear, what can I say to make you feel better - only that it will pass. I go through the same upas and downs, don't we all. The head wants and the body doesn't etc.

By the way your RSS works fully! I can see your entire blog posts, and whether you have comments.

on Saturday, April 8th, Elise said

Thanks for letting me know about the rss, I worked on getting that fixed since the painting is going so poorly.
:(
I'm sure you're right, it will pass...but this has been ongoing for several weeks now so I'm starting to get impatient. Especially since I have an opportunity to show new work in a couple weeks!

on Saturday, April 8th, Judy Vars said

You're so funny.. your muse has something to teach you and this time maby its not supposed to hurt.
I know that oils and the enacaustic that I love to use are toxic. But its my way of suffering for my art.
I did buy a fan and installed it so cudos anyway. Glad you're up.

on Saturday, April 8th, subi said

See my new blog addy? Did you get my email? are you going to participate? I hope so! What about Italy? I conquered my demon!!!! (how many times can one say that!) Oh and did you get your chapbooks? I have so many amazing comments about the cover!!! thank you again!!!

on Saturday, April 8th, Elise said

Hey Judy, it's good that you have a fan but you should probably consider getting an air purifier too...it really does help, and just consider what the cost of a new kidney or lung would set you back!

And Subi, I didn't see your new blog addy but I'll check it out. I get a ton of email, yours must have slipped through, I'll go back and hunt for it.

OK, Italy probably isn't going to happen, the dates that Rick is going will be right when I get back from Hawaii....
:(
but he's going and is hoping to see you and H and S. As for conquering your demon...how did ya do it!???

Oh, and no chapbooks yet but it probably takes awhile getting here from Switzerland, going through customs and all that. I'm glad that you've had positive comments about the cover, it was my pleasure!

on Sunday, April 9th, Howard said

hmmm that sucks. Sometimes it's possible to work thruogh such things, sorta like walking through a cramp.

on Sunday, April 9th, Elise said

That's a good way of looking at it I suppose. The thing is, I keep pulling out stuff to work on and it doesn't seem to be improving. Yesterday I spent 5 hours on a painting and afterwards I couldn't tell if I had made it better or worse.

I guess in the long run it's probably just important to keep painting and not get spooked.

on Sunday, April 9th, Kasia said

Always look at the bright side of life....:) Even if it's not visible for a while.

on Sunday, April 9th, Kasia said

Oh, did you get my song? The email was being sent for like an hour!

on Sunday, April 9th, Elise said

I can look on the brighter side, since it has been beautiful weather here and I've been very happy.

It's just that painting is one of the most important things in my life so when ever that isn't going well it affects things.

Oh, and I haven't received the song yet. Did you send it to my hotmail account? My other accounts don't have enough room for a large file. Anyway, I hope it does come through, I'm looking forward to listening to it!

on Sunday, April 9th, greg said

Break Time!!!

boy, if I had a boat, I think I'd just go out for a bit of water therapy! :)

hang in there!

on Sunday, April 9th, Elise said

The weather is just starting to get warm enough for me to work on my sailboat but not quite warm enough to go out on the water yet (I'm a bit of a wus in that regard)...

Anyway, strangely, the painting is going better this morning. Maybe it's true what Dorrell said in that "living the artists life" book, that hard work will win out over raw talent.
;)