04/09/2006: "The Burden of Dreams"
Tonight I watched The Burden of Dreams a documentary about all the problems Herzog Werner overcame in order to make the movie Fitzcarraldo; it was unbelieveable...and he never gave up, never backed down, never compromised; even when everyone had given up he said he'd either finish the film or die trying (he wasn't speaking metaphorically). I'll never feel sorry for my own wasted artistic efforts again!
Speaking of which, last night I stayed up late "working through a cramp" as Howard put it. I kept working and working on one painting without making any progress; when I finally passed out on the couch at 4am it looked nearly identical to when I had started! First thing this morning I started in on it again -tired and cranky as hell- but like magic, at some point into my third cup of coffee, my brush took on the muscle memory of an actual painter, and it all fell into place...I felt that sweet sweet moment, like a switch clicking on. You know that moment? Ahhhh
After a post-coital smoke (joking!) , I took a break to visit Rob at the Two Crows gallery. I love hanging out with someone who is as into painting as I am but is funny and not too serious about it all. It's good for me; he even gave me some acrylic glazing medium to try out.
Back in the studio I applied my "Dawn of the Dead" standard for the rest of the day, i.e. I only allow myself to work on a painting for the length of Dawn of the Dead (to keep from overworking it)...it works amazingly well. I'm even painting in a slightly different way, that I feel is an improvement though there are times I know that I make compromises because doing it the best way would take too long and I hate myself for that...after all, what would Herzog do?