04/12/2006: "Reluctance to share"

I’ve worked hard the past couple of days, painting 4 or more hours a night after getting home from work. I’ve made significant changes to 3 paintings you’ve already seen, and have a good start on a totally new one. This morning I had my camera out, planning to snap a few shots to post here but I hesitated.

There are things about these paintings I’m not sure I like. For one thing, behind the nudes you can see down into valleys. I’ve used a lot of green for the valleys…a really green green, like a crayola green. If I were an art critic I’d say, “too much green”…and that I should muddy them up a bit, mix in some brown or red iron oxide or maybe even yellow ochre…the problem is…I *think* I like the green. It may be “unsophisticated” but I don’t care.

How is it I can realize something is probably “wrong” with them but not want to change them either…so, that’s why I don’t want to post them because I’m afraid that if I get reactions like…Damn Elise, that’s a lot of green! I’ll cave and tone them down, or, I’ll decide on my own that I can’t live with the green and change it but it will appear as though I’ve caved and then ultimately I think “why the hell should I even give a damn!”…but I do.

It’s strange how (and I’m sure I’m not alone here) I can look at a painting and think that either I absolutely love it, or it’s total shit. I feel completely schizo. I have to force myself to shut off the obsessive art center of my brain while I’m at my job since I have a ton of work that needs to be done but it’s so easy for my mind to wander…wander back to my canvases and all the things I want to do there.

Replies: 5 Comments

on Wednesday, April 12th, Ty said

In my opinon as long as you are coniousely making the decition to do something realizing that it will be viewed as "incorect" it is ok. It's a statement to you personal preforance. The beauty of art is that it is a true exspresion of the artist. All said to say, what ever you do be true to yourself.
p.s. sorry for the miss spelled words

on Wednesday, April 12th, Elise said

Hi Ty, (no worries about spelling in this blog, I'm the worst speller on the planet, my students make fun of me all the time!) Anyway, I agree with what you're saying...I guess there's still some part of me that feels...what's the word? Defensive I guess. I feel that I have to prove something, that if I do things a certain way people will think it's because I lack the skill to do it correctly. I suppose there is no such thing as "correctly" when it comes to art though.

I think I'll keep the green after all...and maybe in a day or two I'll get my courage up to post some photos here. I'm sure it will be very anti-climatic!
;)

on Wednesday, April 12th, Elise said

By the way Ty, I just stopped by your site and I *love* the new work! You've been busy!!!

on Thursday, April 13th, Ty said

Thanks for visiting my wedsite. I have been busy. I think it is good to show what I'm doing becuse I want to inspire other artist to do more. My mato is "Life is short so paint while you can." Kinda corny I know. Anyway, for me knowing there are other artist out there creating too makes it easyer for me to continue, and it is very inportant that I keep up the work because It's my "job" as well.
I should also say thank you for your blog it lets me know there are other artsit out there creating simotaiously with me. It's pretty cool if you stop and think about it... :)

on Thursday, April 13th, Elise said

Thanks Ty, and I agree that having a blog is very cool...it's a great way to communicate with other artists, both the ups and downs, and form another kind of community of artists. (but not *only* artists)
;)
I would expand what you've said to "life is short so create while you can"...though painting is definitely *my* favorite!