05/15/2006: "Goodbye cruel world"
After months of a mostly endless stream of ideas, my mind has gone quiet again; a couple days ago I had a little jolt of inspiration, I got all excited...but it passed. It's strange for me to feel so... blank.
On Thursday I found out that someone I liked a lot (who moved away last year), had died. Everyone was shocked, as he was young and in good health. I thought it must have been an accident or something but no one was saying. Today I found out it was suicide. It really hit me hard. I guess because he was one of those people that always seemed so happy...always smiling, helpful, positive (but not in an obnoxious way)...everybody liked him.
It's true that we never really know what's going on in someone else's head...how could we? We try to show our "first date" selves as much as possible (which is rarely the reality and difficult to maintain). Anyway, fear not...I have a strong desire to live...it's just hard for me to believe that he didn't as well.