Alaskan Artist - Elise Tomlinson
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05/22/2006: "Don't want no short people round here!"


Today my friend Ann wrote her rules about what she will or won't write about (to protect the innocent) on her blog, which is already anonymous...but me, I use my real name so theoretically I should be even more careful about what I say. For example, I was just watching a news stories about a large number of employers who have decided not to hire people because of what they found out about them on their blogs! but mostly I don't really care about protecting the innocent (or my future employment prospects) plus I know this person doesn't read my blog anyway so...screw it.

I *have* to see someone on a regular basis who makes me crazy. Half the time this person makes me feel horrible (and on a few occasions to the point of tears) then they'll turn around the next day without blinking an eye, and act sincerely friendly and joke around with me as though we are dear old friends. It is very confusing as I feel that I'm the one who has to constantly adjust my attitude according to said person's mercurial moods.

I think what I find the most frustrating is that I even care at all, but I do like this person when they are friendly towards me (who wouldn't?)...anyway, I know it's just insecurity but it really bothers me when someone actively dislikes me. I know we can't make everyone like us, but in this case I don't even know what I'm doing wrong or how I could change to make the situation better as it seems completely random. My new strategy is to just avoid/limit contact whenever possible; I have enough reasons to feel badly about myself already without having to second guess everything I say or do. Life's too short (for that matter I'm too short)...hey, maybe that's it! Remember this song?

Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Round here




Replies: 20 Comments

on Tuesday, May 23rd, Kasia said

How tall are you? :) Or maybe a "short person" is kind of idiom i don't know?
Well - I don't care if someone doesn't like me. Or better - I pretend I don't care. :) We like to be liked. right? It's normal. Besides, there are so many more people who like us than the people who don't. :) Always keep your head up:)

on Tuesday, May 23rd, Elise said

Hi Kasia, I'm just a tiny fraction below 5 feet tall (1.54 meters).

And I agree with you, but why is it that it is sometimes easier to fixate on the few people who don't like us, or the the few negative comments we get when the vast majority are positive?

It's easy to tell myself I don't care but I can't actually force myself not to.
:(

on Tuesday, May 23rd, Jackie said

E: This person sounds seriously screwed up in the head. Is it someone you work with? Is that why you have to see them? Sounds like they know you know how they really feel about you - and are just playing head games cuz they have to interact with you. We have a manager around here like that - the woman wants everyone to like her, but she is so insincere when she comes along all bubbly and cheery and yells 'Good Morning" - you know she's just fakin' it. I don't care whether she likes me or not - but I have to deal with her, so I'm just syrupy- disgustingly-fake right back!
Hey - I'm taller than you! Just a hair over 5' - but shrinking annually. My mom used to be 4'11", but now she's about 4'6" due to osteoporosis. But then, she's 86! See what I have to look forward to?

:laugh:

on Tuesday, May 23rd, Elise said

4'6? Oh man, I am not looking forward to that. Of course, I was part of a family study on bone density and I supposedly have really strong bones and have a very very low likely hood of ever getting osteoporosis so maybe I'll retain a bit of my stature.

There is a pretty large philipino population here and sometimes a philipino woman will come in and I'll be taller than her and it feels so bizar (and powerful)...

As for the other incident, without going into too many details, the difference is that when this person is nice it *seems* sincere...I think they're just incredibly moody but I loath that walking on egg shells feeling...also, I have a hard time being fake-nice...my true feelings are incredibly hard to conceal (my horrible Irish skin)...I literally change colors when I'm upset.
:blush:

on Tuesday, May 23rd, ann said

I want to write something incredibly sincere and inspirational about your situation... but all I can come up with is:

That sucks.

Sorry you have to deal with this person. That situation isn't easy, and I definitely have a problem dealing with insincere people. Like me or don't like me, that's fine... but don't pretend otherwise. At least, that's my attitude.

on Tuesday, May 23rd, elderberrystudio2000@yahoo.com">Jackie said

E: My partner is Filippino, and she is an inch shorter than me. Heh. It grieves her to no end. :hehe:
I am taller than one of my sisters, about the same height as the second one, and a bit shorter than the third sister. My son seemed like the giant of the family cuz' he turned out to be 5'9" - but I now have 2 nephews a bit taller.

Hmmm...moody people are definitely a challenge (spoken from a moody person!). I try not to act that way at work - and I'm not moody allll the time. :blush:

on Tuesday, May 23rd, Elise said

Hey Ann, sucks is a good enough way to put it...
:(
oh well.
And Jackie, sorry to misspell Filipino but wth? Philippines spelled with a ph and two pps...but Filipino spelled with f and one p, makes no sense to me.

I also used terrible grammar "taller than her!" as my grammar instructor in middle school would say "taller than her is tall?"...I don't think so!

blah, low greymatter day.

Also, I think you may have touched on something... this person is moody BUT SO AM I! Maybe we find our own faults even more annoying when we see them in others?

on Tuesday, May 23rd, Cody said

There is a pretty large philipino population here and sometimes a philipino woman will come in and I'll be taller than her and it feels so bizar (and powerful)...

I almost sprayed soda out my nose when I read that. Too funny.

on Tuesday, May 23rd, Elise said

That's me Cody, a barrel of laughs!
:P
But seriously, if you had to experience what it feels like to always be looking *up* at people you'd realize what an absolute drag it is.

on Wednesday, May 24th, Stephanie said

i know exactly what you mean - i have a sister-in-law who dislikes me but every once in a while she condescends to come to one of our parties and she's so nice - and i've wasted all sorts of time trying to figure it out and fretting over it. 'tho of late i have learned to just ignore/avoid her to cut down on my thinking about her - but yes, i'm still bothered! so let me know if you find a solution!!!! well, a legal one :laugh:

on Wednesday, May 24th, RR said

It's so confusing when people act so differently towards you from one day to the next. I second the "it sucks" comment - or is that the third.... and that song you mention, I think it's the root of my paranoia about being small (5'4" - but with taller siblings and children). A tall friend thinks I hate tall people...I don't, just get very envious of their long legs :blush:

on Wednesday, May 24th, Elise said

Yah Stephanie, it's like you know that if they only got to know you better they'd like you...but for some reason they don't want to, or like they've already made up their mind about you and nothing can sway it.

But you're right, avoiding the person who makes us feel that way is the best way to not have to fret about it. If I think of a "legal" solution, I'll let you know.

If I didn't think I had to follow my own advice I'd say to try and talk to her about it, how much you want her to like you etc...but I know I'd never have the courage to do that myself so...

And RR, yes, a ball of sucky confusion. As for being 5'4, I'd kill to be that tall! I also have tall friends and it's like when ever we go for a walk or hike I practically have to run to keep up with their long legs.

Plus, tall people can be sexy, while I've only been able to pull off "cute".
blah!
:plain:

on Wednesday, May 24th, Brian said

If contact with this woman is unavoidable, just take the high road and remain cordial. She doesn't sound worth the trouble and mental strain. Does she treat others the same way she treats you? I really wouldn't worry about this too much. Just be yourself. I'm with Ann on this one - like me or hate me, just make an attempt to get to know me first, then decide.

On another note, I thoroughly enjoy my tallness (6'1"). I can understand though how a shorter person can find it difficult to keep up with someone who's taller. And my height doesn't empower me - if anything, it makes me feel as if I stand out in a crowd and everyone is looking at me.

on Wednesday, May 24th, Elise said

Hey Brian, they can't be 100 avoided, I've been trying to take the high road and yes, they treat (almost) everyone in this way, that's a good thing to remember I suppose it may not even really be about *me* in particular.

As for height, I don't necessarily want to be 6'1, but 5'5 would be nice. Maybe they'll come up with the technology to grow shin and thigh bone transplants in the near future!

Also, I wanted to thank you again for the movie/dinner the other night...despite your obscene height I had a really fun time!
:P

on Wednesday, August 30th, bremnersharon@hotmail.com">sassy said

Sounds like the moody woman you have to put up with may need to be on some medication, her mood swings may be confusing even for herself. That doesn't give her the right to be abusive to you. One thing I have learned in life, is that when someone is cranky with me at work, or anywhere on a regular basis, I eventually get angry, stand up for myself, and they have ALWAYS been apologetic, and the abusive behaviour has stopped. They gained respect for me, and I gained more respect for myself as well. Very empowering! I am 5'2", love being petite, I have modelled, being "discovered" walking down the street, built my own home. I find men very attracted to me all the time, I have to practically fight them off! I don't think height is as much the issue here, as a person's attitude around an area they may feel insecure in. I wish my math skills were better, that is my area of insecurity, we all have some. I think we are all beautiful, how you feel on the inside radiates on the outside. The only time If I have ever felt envious of some women, it is always the ones that are extremley self confident, done well in their careers. I strive to be more like them. Take good care, give your beautiful self a hug!

on Wednesday, August 30th, bremnersharon@hotmail.com">sassy said

Sounds like the moody woman you have to put up with may need to be on some medication, her mood swings may be confusing even for herself. That doesn't give her the right to be abusive to you. One thing I have learned in life, is that when someone is cranky with me at work, or anywhere on a regular basis, I eventually get angry, stand up for myself, and they have ALWAYS been apologetic, and the abusive behaviour has stopped. They gained respect for me, and I gained more respect for myself as well. Very empowering! I am 5'2", love being petite, I have modelled, being "discovered" walking down the street, built my own home. I find men very attracted to me all the time, I have to practically fight them off! I don't think height is as much the issue here, as a person's attitude around an area they may feel insecure in. I wish my math skills were better, that is my area of insecurity, we all have some. I think we are all beautiful, how you feel on the inside radiates on the outside. The only time If I have ever felt envious of some women, it is always the ones that are extremley self confident, done well in their careers. I strive to be more like them. Take good care, give your beautiful self a hug!

on Wednesday, August 30th, bremnersharon@hotmail.com">sassy said

Sounds like the moody woman you have to put up with may need to be on some medication, her mood swings may be confusing even for herself. That doesn't give her the right to be abusive to you. One thing I have learned in life, is that when someone is cranky with me at work, or anywhere on a regular basis, I eventually get angry, stand up for myself, and they have ALWAYS been apologetic, and the abusive behaviour has stopped. They gained respect for me, and I gained more respect for myself as well. Very empowering! I am 5'2", love being petite, I have modelled, being "discovered" walking down the street, built my own home. I find men very attracted to me all the time, I have to practically fight them off! I don't think height is as much the issue here, as a person's attitude around an area they may feel insecure in. I wish my math skills were better, that is my area of insecurity, we all have some. I think we are all beautiful, how you feel on the inside radiates on the outside. The only time If I have ever felt envious of some women, it is always the ones that are extremley self confident, done well in their careers. I strive to be more like them. Take good care, give your beautiful self a hug!

on Wednesday, August 30th, sassy said

Sounds like the moody woman you have to put up with may need to be on some medication, her mood swings may be confusing even for herself. That doesn't give her the right to be abusive to you. One thing I have learned in life, is that when someone is cranky with me at work, or anywhere on a regular basis, I eventually get angry, stand up for myself, and they have ALWAYS been apologetic, and the abusive behaviour has stopped. They gained respect for me, and I gained more respect for myself as well. Very empowering! I am 5'2", love being petite, I have modelled, being "discovered" walking down the street, built my own home. I find men very attracted to me all the time, I have to practically fight them off! I don't think height is as much the issue here, as a person's attitude around an area they may feel insecure in. I wish my math skills were better, that is my area of insecurity, we all have some. I think we are all beautiful, how you feel on the inside radiates on the outside. The only time If I have ever felt envious of some women, it is always the ones that are extremley self confident, done well in their careers. I strive to be more like them. Take good care, give your beautiful self a hug!

on Wednesday, August 30th, sassy said

Sounds like the moody woman you have to put up with may need to be on some medication, her mood swings may be confusing even for herself. That doesn't give her the right to be abusive to you. One thing I have learned in life, is that when someone is cranky with me at work, or anywhere on a regular basis, I eventually get angry, stand up for myself, and they have ALWAYS been apologetic, and the abusive behaviour has stopped. They gained respect for me, and I gained more respect for myself as well. Very empowering! I am 5'2", love being petite, I have modelled, being "discovered" walking down the street, built my own home. I find men very attracted to me all the time, I have to practically fight them off! I don't think height is as much the issue here, as a person's attitude around an area they may feel insecure in. I wish my math skills were better, that is my area of insecurity, we all have some. I think we are all beautiful, how you feel on the inside radiates on the outside. The only time If I have ever felt envious of some women, it is always the ones that are extremley self confident, done well in their careers. I strive to be more like them. Take good care, give your beautiful self a hug!

on Wednesday, August 30th, sassy said

Sounds like the moody woman you have to put up with may need to be on some medication, her mood swings may be confusing even for herself. That doesn't give her the right to be abusive to you. One thing I have learned in life, is that when someone is cranky with me at work, or anywhere on a regular basis, I eventually get angry, stand up for myself, and they have ALWAYS been apologetic, and the abusive behaviour has stopped. They gained respect for me, and I gained more respect for myself as well. Very empowering! I am 5'2", love being petite, I have modelled, being "discovered" walking down the street, built my own home. I find men very attracted to me all the time, I have to practically fight them off! I don't think height is as much the issue here, as a person's attitude around an area they may feel insecure in. I wish my math skills were better, that is my area of insecurity, we all have some. I think we are all beautiful, how you feel on the inside radiates on the outside. The only time If I have ever felt envious of some women, it is always the ones that are extremley self confident, done well in their careers. I strive to be more like them. Take good care, give your beautiful self a hug!