03/22/2010: "Wasted Time?"
The past week I started 7 new paintings and probably did 20 new compositions in PhotoShop. Still...I didn't do any painting over the weekend and my first instinct was to feel guilty about that. To look at everything I *should* have been doing, and beat myself up for not being productive enough...but then I *decided* to change my attitude...because the weather was absolutely gorgeous here in Juneau and it would have been sinful to stay indoors!
Instead Aaron, Noah and I went for a walk on Sandy Beach and later for a hike out to the waterfall near Mendenhall Glacier and built cairns out of large flat rocks. Sat. night Aaron and I went to a friend's birthday party that was held at a local art studio/gallery where we made a large collage of/for the birthday boy.
Sunday we went skiing. It was THE most gorgeous day at Eaglecrest. I mean, pure blue sky, sunny, warm but not too warm. It was great skiing. Aaron and Noah hiked the ridge which is beyond my skills/desire so while I waited for them to finish (a half hour after the lifts had stopped) I sat in the sun reading a great book Juliet Naked that dealt with themes of regret, wasted time, and apathy. The characters all felt stuck, unproductive, and like their best years were behind them...which had been wasted to boot!
The book was funny but I have to admit that I couldn't relate at all. I sat in the parking lot with the sun on my face watching all these happy skiers returning to their vehicles, sun tanned, rosy cheeked...laughing. You can't be in a bad mood or filled with regret on a day like that...spent skiing. No way!
And when Aaron and Noah got back we took our little Zipfy Freestyle Mini Luge out for a spin. It was SO much fun, the snow was fast and we took turns riding it from near the top of the bunny hill down around the side of the lodge to the base of the lower lift. Wheeeeeeeeeee! Afterward, it was dinner at the Hangar with a view of the Gastineau Channel. Last weekend we saw eagles fishing right outside the window of our booth...they'd lung into the water and come up with little fish in their talons that they'd immediately eat.
After dinner we walked along the boardwalk, commenting on the spring like weather and how we'd have to get the sails up on our sailboat soon.
Last night, muscles sore for a hard day's use, I took a long hot bath and then Aaron game me a wonderful massage, I finished my book, and then slept like a baby.
I remember all the times I felt hopeless, like life would never get better...that I'd always be sad, alone, and in serious debt. Well, it wasn't that long ago really. I realize that what I have today could all be taken away tomorrow-I'm always on the look out for the Zombie Apocalypse after all...but for today, I'm going to "suck the marrow"...as they say.