05/30/2004: "Missing out?"
The weather this weekend has been terrific, yet again. I got invited to go on a camping trip Saturday night and then to a beach bonfire tonight, and both times I elected to stay home and paint. I feel lame saying "no" everytime anyone asks me to do anything, but I can't seem to help myself. I worked on two more paintings this weekend, Grounded, and also the Skunk Cabbage one. I also updated the images in my works in progress gallery.
I think the painting went well this weekend, but I didn't get any of the things done that I had on my list, to get ready for the conference I'm going to, and also to clean and beautify my house for my family's visit (June 11-19) and I didn't do anything social either; and now I'm sitting here feeling silly, like I have all of these opportunities to have a life and all I want to do is stay home alone and watch movies and paint. I was looking at the paintings and seeing them all together, I just felt oddly deflated. Like, I'm giving up everything for this? It's not even "important" work. I don't have any grand message to convey, I'm just obsessed with colors and composition. In the end, is that all I'll be left with?