06/16/2009: "Wash, rinse, repeat"
A couple of posts ago was my 1000th "official" post on this blog (not counting the old, home-spun blog I started earlier. In total, I've been blogging for nearly six years now.
I was updating my Purchase page...sort of a master list with thumb nail photos of every single painting I've ever done...I realized I didn't have photos of quite a few pieces. I started browsing my blog archive to see if I could find some, even if they were just "in progress" (and vowed to take better photo documentation of my work in the future).
Anyway, I ended up sifting through my archives for hours, and it was fairly enlightening! I mean, I used to keep a private journal growing up and periodically I'd go back and read through it. But I don't go back and read through my blog very often, but I'll give you the gist of it:
"Ahhhh, I'm so stressed out about this show coming up that I haven't done any work on. I'll never finish in time. I'm such a loser, I'm not a *real* artist anyway, I shouldn't even bother"
"YEAH! Painting is the BEST.... WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. I think I'm high on paint fumes but it doesn't matter because I'm BRILLIANT"
"Show went OK but I didn't sell as much as I'd hoped. Bringing back the unsold work makes me feel like a loser, why do I even bother?"
"Completely blocked, have been unable to paint for months. No worries though, my next show is still months away. I'm not going to procrastinate this time!"
Hmmm, so here it is mid June, my next opening is August 7th (about a month and a half away). I haven't started any new pieces yet. I have, however, put a blank canvas on my easel. I've also thought a lot about starting, and I've worried a lot about not starting. And now I'm writing about the need to get started, and the fact that I feel like a slug and a Loser...so...it's good to at least know this is obviously just part of my "process"...as they say in the bizz.