02/16/2006: "Waiting for the other shoe to drop..."
I've been in a weird space recently...teetering on a fine line between a sense of intense well-being...and a sinking sense of dread. I'm not sure where either is coming from. The happiness probably has to do with the sunny weather we've been having and the increased fruits and veggies I've been eating...plus I've finally signed up for private guitar lessons through the university where I have a tuition waiver.
The dread? Well, my grandpa has been sick for awhile, in and out of the hospital, and I worry about him a lot, as well as my dad. I also worry that I'm a shitty friend and sister, that I'm behind in my work, and about literally thousands of social ills I have absolutely no control over. I hate the fact that escapism is so important to me, even when I'm happy.
Speaking of which, I think Peter Sarsgaard is an incredible actor...and I'm impressed as hell that Zach Braff wrote, directed and starred in Garden State, (with Peter Sarsgaard coincidentally) which was a great film. I hate that there are so many things I want to be great at that will never happen. I lose FOCUS!