03/21/2006: "Salieri for one...or..."I think I need my dosage upped!""
I wish I could look at another contemporary artist’s work which is far superior to my own and feel happiness rather than envy and self-loathing.
Envy: “A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.
I also feel like I could be just as good as them, if I really *applied myself*.
Potential: "The inherent ability or capacity for growth, development, or coming into being."
Then I tick off all the things preventing me from attaining the same level of achievement.
Rationalizing: “To devise self-satisfying but incorrect reasons for one's behavior.”
Do others of you ever feel this way from time to time? I suppose it’s natural; we all strive to be the best in whatever area of our life is the most important to us, no matter how improbable or impossible that may be…don't we? Tell ourselves we could be that good if only...
Delusion: “A false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence, especially as a symptom of mental illness.”
Oh, and last but not least: Self-pity: "Pity for oneself, especially exaggerated or self-indulgent pity."