08/22/2006: "Something Limbo This Way Comes"
When a friend finds out I’m leaving they act in one of two ways:
A. They’re disappointed but excited for me and want to hang out as much as possible until I leave (probably not until early December).
B. They're disappointed and act as if I’m betraying them personally, treating me as if I’m already gone, i.e. won't “waste” any more time on me.
It *is* strange; I've never had to wait 3 1/2 months to move before. I'm still fluctuating wildly between excitement and panic. This will be the first time since I was 17 that I haven’t been an Alaskan resident. I’ve been advised to sell my Tracker here, as it doesn’t have air conditioning and there’s no need for the 4-wheel drive where I’m going…it rarely even snows there! No snow! I love the snow. I love sledding and skiing and watching it fall out my window at night, illuminated by street lights.
I've had the Tracker since I was 24; it’s as much a part of me as being an Alaskan is…I don't wanna sell...and so I find myself dragging my heels on the whole “move” thing. I’ve decided to rent my house instead of selling it…and rather than sell *all* the things I can’t take with me, I’ll store stuff in my attic (I hesitate to think “until I return”) Plus, do I really need to sell my Catalina 22? The slip is paid up through next summer.
Is this crazy? I feel badly for Rod, who had to put up (heroically) with a red “bitch” alert level over the past two days. We had great fun but I was so on edge the whole time. Anyway, do you think it's possible to fully engage in a new life while maintaining a loving choke-hold on the old one?