12/29/2008: "The art of subtraction"

Aaron has gone to the East Coast to be with his son; we couldn't both afford to go so I'm home alone for the first time in a loooong time. I hurt my back last night trying to move a couch so I can't shovel out my tracker from the last big snow dump so I'm staying put for awhile.

I've been puttering around the house, listening to music, reading, taking hot baths, sleeping in, drinking coffee in bed, staying up as late as I can watching movies and painting, napping on the couch... all of my very favorite things to do when I lived alone.

And yet...

it's not as glorious as it used to be. I feel lonely and a little stir-crazy, and I miss him so much. It scares me a little, how much I miss him. The fact that I can't seem to thrive on my own the same way I did before we met. I'm not used to feeling, what's the word? Dependent.

But I guess I couldn't have picked a better person to be dependent on, someone who has never let me down. Below is a photo of the gorgeous flowers that he hand delivered to me at the library on my birthday, above the window are the paper lanterns he also surprised me with...sigh

birthday-flowers-and-paper-lanterns (86k image)

One thing I'd like to continue doing when my back feels better, is get rid of "stuff". We still have far, far too much stuff. We've been carting it away to Goodwill, box by box over the past several weeks. I have a goal to take something away from the house every single day. I feel lighter and happier with every load I haul away. Soon, we will only have what we really actually need. What I'm discovering, is that the only thing I *really* need, is my sweetie.

I guess I'm feeling a little sentimental, but there are worse things I could be feeling.

Replies: 5 Comments

on Monday, December 29th, Kasia said

The Chinese do believe that collectinh old stuff makes bad energy circulate in our flats. I was very sceptic about that theory but actually I am starting to believe it now. I also have a problem of havinh too many things that I don't need. I have made a decision to throw them away and it somehow my flat looks alittel bit biiger, there is more space and light, not so much dust (dust loves things, doesn's it?). So I am totally with you. We should all keep it as simple as possible. :)

And the flowers are really grrreat! :)

on Monday, December 29th, dad said

flowers look like you brought them back from Hawaii but what do I know :laugh:

on Friday, January 2nd, Jim L said

Thanks for writing about "stuff". We moved my mother-in-law cross-country and had to leave most of her stuff in a storage unit. Remember that scene at the end of Raiders of the Last Ark, where the room filled with stuff went forever? That was the storage unit...

That so appalled me that I went on a purging binge - but then stopped. After reading this, I'm reminded to make another New Year's Resolution!

on Saturday, January 3rd, Sheri Pfau said

:)I came across your site looking for info about Alaska. I am planning a visit in the next two years. I am a visual artist, paint with acrylics and a papercutter, similiar to Matisse. Your art and colors are just fantastic!! I have spent the afternoon reading your blogs and looking at your life and creations. WOW!! Sheri from Minnesota

on Monday, January 5th, Elise said

Hi Kasia, I didn't realize that about the Chinese but it makes sense. As for places seeming bigger without so much stuff in them, SO TRUE!

Our upstairs looks so much bigger now that my painting stuff has moved downstairs. It's really amazing actually.
:)
And dad, the flowers were roses and lilies and some other funky green things, not sure what but as a whole it looked so beautiful! I have to admit I luv getting flowers!!!!

And Hi Jim! Our junk room (created primarily from getting rid of a large storage unit) is aptly named "The Bad Place"...as in, "I'm going to The Bad Place" to see if I can find plastic spoons. Call 911 if I'm not back in 15 minutes"...

And hi Sheri! Thanks for the comments about my work. I'd love to check out yours as well. Matisse (and especially his paper cutouts) is one of my biggest influences. I got to see some of them in person in Nice, France. So impressive!