10/16/2008: "Nothing to fear but fear???"
I can't believe it's been so long since my last post. There have been a lot of rather sad developments in the past few weeks, things I'm not really at liberty to talk about. And on top of these personal issues, there is the ever tanking economy, the stress of the upcoming election, and an apparently never ending supply of rain.
I've been having an incredibly difficult time getting out of bed in the morning.
And on top of everything, I may have to give up oil painting!
I don't know what else to do. Every time I start a new painting, or squeeze fresh paint onto a new pallet, my coughing condition gets worse. I also suffer from head aches and sore throat etc. I am going to the doctor again (finally) next week. I have to admit I'm afraid of what they may find. I have been coughing for so long now and it hasn't gotten any better.
And every night I have bad dreams that wake me in a cold sweat.
It's strange that so many bad things have happened lately, because in some ways, I've never felt more grateful for everything that I *do* have. An incredibly sweet and doting husband, an interesting job, no serious health problems (knock on wood) and a home in my favorite place on Earth. I don't really even mind that it rains night and day.
I just want to keep what I have. I want things to stay the way they are. And I am terrified at the changes that may be coming.