Alaskan Artist - Elise Tomlinson
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Sunday, October 26th

When you're stuck...

I was trying to get out of the rain on Friday and took a detour through the Art Department on my way to review tenure files. I hadn't been through there in a really long time, and it was such a rush. All the student art work hanging on the walls, the smells, the funky sculptures and potter on stands.

I remember when I first started art school (at UAA) they had a big beautiful building full of labs...for painting, drawing, sculpture, photography, printmaking, etc. Going there for the first time, I felt so excited, like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.

We could get passes to stay in the building after it closed for the night. I'd hang out with friends listening to the radio, talking, and working on pieces that were experimental, pieces that I had no idea how they'd end up.

All that came flooding back to me as I walked down that hallway. And it really got me painting again this weekend. When ever things get scary or uncertain, there has always been art. And yes, the oil is making me feel crappy again, but I don't care. I have to paint, it's worth it.

So, if anyone out there is having a creative may want to take a walk through the closest art school to you. It was more inspirational to me than the past 25 shows I've been too (except for Donna's and Rob's of course, you two ROCK!)...

Elise on 10.26.08 @ 10:01 PM AK [link]

Thursday, October 16th

Nothing to fear but fear???

I can't believe it's been so long since my last post. There have been a lot of rather sad developments in the past few weeks, things I'm not really at liberty to talk about. And on top of these personal issues, there is the ever tanking economy, the stress of the upcoming election, and an apparently never ending supply of rain.

I've been having an incredibly difficult time getting out of bed in the morning.

And on top of everything, I may have to give up oil painting!

I don't know what else to do. Every time I start a new painting, or squeeze fresh paint onto a new pallet, my coughing condition gets worse. I also suffer from head aches and sore throat etc. I am going to the doctor again (finally) next week. I have to admit I'm afraid of what they may find. I have been coughing for so long now and it hasn't gotten any better.

And every night I have bad dreams that wake me in a cold sweat.

It's strange that so many bad things have happened lately, because in some ways, I've never felt more grateful for everything that I *do* have. An incredibly sweet and doting husband, an interesting job, no serious health problems (knock on wood) and a home in my favorite place on Earth. I don't really even mind that it rains night and day.

I just want to keep what I have. I want things to stay the way they are. And I am terrified at the changes that may be coming.

Elise on 10.16.08 @ 09:11 PM AK [link]